I Blinked - And You Turned 10

I've been lamenting of late that my children are growing too fast.  My eldest just turned ten a few Friday's back.  It all seems to be slipping away...

I wrote about it today on The Mid.  Bring tissues.

Image Credit (Edited): Photostock / freedigitalphotos.net

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The Diaper Continuum - From Clean to Why Did I Reproduce?

I'm excited to be over at Sammiches and Psych Meds with my piece "The Diaper Continuum" - click the link and have a look!!

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Building Strong Children

I love those little revalations that come with spending time with family.  I'm just back from a week's holiday in Canada - my mother, her dog, and my niece joined us.  My mom reminded me of a number of things that happened when I was a child.  And one little comment sent me spinning.  She suggested I had to feel a bit sorry for my father, because after his father died, he was the one who had to deal with his mother's anxieties and quirks.

If you've been reading my blog for a while, you know that I have my own little anxieties and quirks.  But I was struck by the fact that my father had had to deal with his mother in that way, then I had to deal with his anxieites.  And when he was out of my life, I sought someone who had an even more complicated set of anxieties.  And I tried to fix them, because I couldn't fix my father - any more than he could fix his mother.  And somehow, any more than he could prevent himself from passing some from of those anxieties on to me.

A Divorced Mothers Worry: Do My Children Need Therapy?

It's a commonly held belief that all children of divorce need some psychological help. It's not always true - but as a divorced mom, it is something that I've thought about.

Read more - see my article at DivorcedMoms.com. 

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40 Pieces of Advice for My Children on the Eve of My Fortieth Birthday

I’m turning forty this week. I've decided that I’d like to give my children forty pieces of advice that I've absorbed in the past 14,610 days (thank you WolframAlpha).

Come over to Sammiches and Psych Meds to see my advice.

Ryan McGuire / imcreator.com

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Live Your Life and Forget Your Age

I was admonished by my seven year old the other day for laughing out loud at the movies.  A little too loud in her opinion.

Mom...everyone is looking...

Act your age.

I've been told my whole life.

Act your age Liv.

How Was Your Week? #10Thankful

I was admonished for my first TToT for getting excited and posting too early.  Well...who could blame me.  I was excited to be part of such a fantastic group - AND I joined just before the 100th.  I almost peed my pants as I hit publish.

This is my third TToT and I'm much more mature now.  I peed before I started writing.

Airing my Dirty Laundry #LoseTheCape

I have a system for doing laundry. Okay...maybe it's not so much a system...there's really not much system to it - it's just my reality - but nonetheless it's working for me. And today I'm going to share it with you. For free.

First - I should point out that I didn't do my own laundry until I moved in with my ex-husband. Not for lack of trying - but my mom was super protective of the machines. I lived at home and went to a local college and truthfully...it wasn't so bad having someone to do my laundry for me.

The 100th Ten Things of Thankful / My Sunday Confession

The theme for this week's Sunday confession is "lost".  It's perfect for me this week - as I'm lost.  This week I "lost" my temper.  And as a result  I "lost" my way again.  I'm ever disappointed that I need to continually come back around to parenting the way I want to parent - and co-parenting with dignity and integrity and respect.  Because I lose my plot way to often.  And more often then not it causes more harm than it does good.  I don't see my way back from this one - and the only way I can see solving it without thousands of dollars in legal costs is going back to the parenting coordinator.  And my ex will view this as a win.  Which means that I've lost.

So I really need to think about the things I'm thankful for this week.  And as it's the 100th Ten Things of Thankful, instead of just ten things, I'm going to sit here and keep writing until I can think of 100 things that I am thankful for.

Sometimes I Wonder

My son was just over two when I left, and my daughter wasn't even born yet. I knew at the time that it was the best thing - and I still do.  However, the problem with leaving a situation like that when your children are too young to have formed any lasting memories is they get ideas.

I'm very, very careful to keep them as far from the conflict between their father and I as possible.  They have very little exposure to any animosity between my ex and myself.  And as a consequence, they simply don't understand why we can't live together.

It's Time to Reframe - Coparenting without Micromanagement

I posted on Facebook a few weeks ago that the Goblin King has suggested that we keep a "food diary" for the children.  Thought I'd take today to explain as I had a few questions about how it came about.

Last September Puck had a visit with his pediatrician.  During the course of the visit, he was measured and weighed, and it came out that his height had increased only 4.6% - but his weight had increased 12.3% since his last visit only nine months before (Puck has regular visits with the pediatrician because of his asthma).  We reviewed his BMI, and it came in at the "at risk" range (there's a BMI calculator for children on the CDC website in case you're interested).  

Business Attire for the Working Mom

The one thing about being a working mother is - no matter how hard you try to leave the house without some bit of something on your clothing, you can't.

It must be some weird physics thing - there's like a vortex or something from the moment you put on new clean clothes.  

Oh - you can think you've left the house without a spot.  You can look yourself up and down and inspect...but the moment you get into work, there will always be that one guy who looks at you and says..."Did you know you have a little something right there?"

6 Steps to Make More Time for Blogging

I'll admit it...mothering three kids and holding down a full time job and keeping up a blog is a bit more of a struggle then I'd anticipated.  My blog is suffering.  I've still got great ideas - but I have a new director who is offering me new opportunities (yes...that's what I'm going to call them...she's not an passive aggressive bitch who appears to need to show me the size of her cahones...this is an opportunity for me to grow).

Whoops...sorry...I digressed there a bit...

So I'm determined to make more time in my day so I can fit in job, kids and blogging.

Back to Work - A New Chapter Begins

Well...it's been a nice run.  I've been very lucky to have a kind employer who was willing to allow me over one year unpaid leave after the birth of my third child.  Two summers home with my kids.  For the first time ever, a whole year to wait at the bus stop for the kids to come home.  A fantastic vacation with hubs and Bae to Holland.  Walks to the park.  And the opportunity to pursue my own new favorite hobby - blogging.

It's very rare in the good ol' USA to have such an understanding and forward thinking employer (who, being an anonymous blogger, I can't name, and who don't know about my blog anyway...).  I can tell you it's not Hobby Lobby.

Look Who's (Not) Talking?

Bae's not talking. 

Not in the sense that he's got a secret.

He's just not talking.  Hasn't said his first word yet.

He just passed the big "1".  And (so the books say), he should be saying at least three words by now.  They don't have to be clear.  But they should be there.

And they're not.

You Can Walk the Walk - But Can You Talk the "Talk"?

I remember as a child, I'm not sure what age, but I remember it, so likely between eight and ten - I must have asked my mother a question about sex.  I don't know when it was, but I don't remember her answering it right away.  There was kind of an awkward silence.  And then she changed the subject.

The next day, I got home from school and being presented with a package of four textbooks about human development.  It was anatomically correct, very scientific and straight to the point.  She told me I could read the books and ask her any questions I wanted to - but it felt clear that the books were supposed to answer everything.

Surgeon General's Warning: Contents of this Post May Make You Angry

New day, new rant.  This one may potentially alienate some of my readers.  I can't say I'm sorry if it does - if you're offended by this, you're not my type of people anyway.

My cousin, we'll call him Ray, separated from his wife and after about nine months, met a new woman.  Which is great for him.  The separation wasn't his idea, and it hit him hard.  He tried very hard to get her to come back.  But it wasn't working.  For her or for him.  I think he's come to terms with it now.  They had a child together - and they're working fairly amicably together to co-parent him.

Blogging and Hypocrisy...

I read a blog this week from a SAHM who was admonishing divorced mothers and step moms for blogging about their troubles.  She suggested, in general, that if you don't have something nice to say, you shouldn't say it at all.  She suggested that the potential for damaging the relationship with your ex (or your spouse's ex) and your children (or step children) by laying yourself bare on the internet (as a divorced woman) was too great.

Cutting the Umbilical Cord - First Day of Preschool

A mother needs to be needed.  When you have young children, as much as sometimes you want to just have a moment alone - even if it's just to use the washroom, your children need you all the time.  They need you to feed them.  They need you to wash them.  They need you to change their clothes and their diapers.  They need you to play with them.  They need you to watch them play.  They need you to wipe their nose, and other things.  They need you to keep them safe.  

The Lowest Point of my Divorce

For today, I thought I would share with you the lowest point of my divorce.  My daughter was about three months old, I'd left my ex when I was six months pregnant.  He was at the hospital when she was born and I'd done my best to keep him involved with her, although I was breastfeeding at the time, so it was difficult.  But even with the difficulties we were having, I allowed him in my home to spend time alone with her, we'd go for walks to the park with both children and to get groceries.  We even went to the fair together.  I made it clear that my sole interest was ensuring he spend time with both of our children, and stood back on some of these occasions to let him take the lead (lest he think it was some kind of opportunity to rekindle the relationship).