Co-Parenting Communication Issues: Listen to Understand - Not to Respond

So...more fun with my exchange e-mail from the Goblin King today.

Puck, as you all know by now, has a learning disability.  Recently, he convinced his dad that he was sick so that he didn't have to do a math test.  (I discovered the problem and he did do the math test).  When I discussed it with the staff at the school for his IEP, they advised he was displaying other classic avoidance behaviours during class.  So, when we had the discussion, I advised that I was going to seek some other assistance in the mental health arena.

The Dreaded IEP Review

The long awaited IEP review for Puck happened yesterday.  For those of you who need some review:

• Diagnosis: Dysgraphia - Struggling Against my Ex AND the System 
• Do My Children Need Therapy? A DivorcedMother's Worries 
• Nature vs. Nurture: How to combat a predisposition to mental illness when co-parenting with a narcissist  

Now that you're caught up, the school called about a week ago and asked if it was "OK" to have the annual review together with The Goblin King.  I had, of course, anticipated this would be an issue, and already told them that my husband would be joining me (he's my muscle for these types of meetings).  I reminded them in the phone call that my husband would be joining me, and if it was OK with the Goblin King, it was OK with me.  (It's not really, it's never productive, but I don't want to look like the one who isn't trying).  Building up to the meeting, my husband and I had a strategy session that basically went like this - as soon as the Goblin King acts up, we request to have the meeting alone with just the "adults" present.

How Do You Make Report Card Day Positive for a Child with Learning Disabilities?

Living with a learning disability means that report card day has been very difficult in the past.  I think my son dreaded the report card almost as much as I did.  Because the school insists that you go over the report card with your child.  Which I totally understand.  But when most of the feedback can be seen as negative (and his teacher last year was pretty negative), it's really hard to keep positive and learn from it.

My son, despite his learning problems, is a perfectionist.  He has a lot of difficulty accepting the fact that he's not perfect.  And even more difficulty accepting that because of his learning disability, he may never be able to achieve the "perfection" he's striving for.

Developing a Love of Reading for a Child with Learning Disabilities

My son is a diagnosed dysgraphic.  I've blogged about it before: (Diagnosis: Dysgraphia). He struggles even with the basic concepts of reading.  He gets so very frustrated at the words on the page, because they are absorbed by his eyes, translated in his head, and often come out garbled.  

But he loves books.

He's lucky for the early dysgraphia diagnosis.  Unlike some dyslexics, he can and will be able to read at some point, with practice.  And with some accommodation and hard work, decoding words becomes less of a chore every day.  

Diagnosis: Dysgraphia - Struggling Against my Ex AND the System

My son was experiencing some difficulties learning to read.  He had been in the same day care since age 1.  When I left my ex he was 2 and a half.  My ex worked 12 hours shifts, and given the extreme tension at the time, I gave in to his request to take my son out of care early on the days he was off.  And then he started to get him there late on the other days.  It was difficult on those days for him to get a consistent amount of time with his preschool teachers.  And there was a lot going on with lawyers and my new daughter and everything else.  I knew there were some issues with his learning.  He could sing the alphabet song but didn't seem to grasp the relationship to written letters.  His teachers pointed to a speech issue - so I arranged speech therapy.  He figured out how to count and seemed to be able to handle basic math.  I was working with him at home on his letter identification.