Co-Parenting with a Bully

I've been feeling very frustrated and “stuck” for the last couple of months.  I think it’s the Christmas kerfuffle that did it to me.  I feel like I’m constantly fighting.  

Let's be clear - my ex is a bully.  Plain and simple.  He's very insecure and tries to assert himself in the only way he knows how - by making everything a power struggle.

I consciously try not to engage.  But he draws me in over and over again.  He won't let things go, and he will not stop until I concede.  And I won't.  I can't.  

But I’m spent.  It’s like there’s a never-ending war and I’m stuck right in the middle.  I'm always working to keep the children out of it.  To allow them an innocence.  To let them enjoy their childhood.  

Finding Light After Darkness

I was out with a group of women the other day and got into a conversation about husbands - and how difficult it could be to work with someone.  One woman told a story of asking her husband to get a bottle for her while she was feeding their child.  She waited for quite some time, then called down again to him - and he finally came upstairs saying "I was playing a GAME."  She thought feeding their child was more important than the game and several days later - clearly still monumentally angry.  At the time, she snapped at him, but it seemed clear that she still hadn't communicated with him about how much it hurt her that he wasn't willing to put his game aside to assist her with caring for their child.

Two of the other moms came up with similar stories readily.  One said her mother overheard a disagreement and told her that "her husband needed a taking to."