Co-Parenting and Sick Kids...

So...poor Puck has been feeling poorly since Saturday afternoon.  He's been mostly OK, taking in a normal amount of fluids, but not eating much, and a low grade fever.  Some minor vomiting.  But as today is a transfer day, I had to let my ex know last night as he'd have to make arrangements for Puck to come into his custody - it's his day.

This is the e-mail I sent:

Heads up - Puck has been feeling poorly since about noon yesterday. He's had a low grade fever, is feeling achy, is not very hungry and has thrown up twice. He's also complaining of headache.  He's managing to eat a little and is keeping up his fluids. He's also been very tired and sleeping a lot. I understand one of his school friends has been vomiting since yesterday as well - I suspect it's just a stomach bug.  Given it's after six now and he's still got a temperature, I don't want to send him to school tomorrow. Please confirm you're able to take him in the morning and I'll drop him to you before work.  If he still has a fever tomorrow he should likely see the doctor to check for signs of infection or other issues.

Codependency and Enabling Behavior Doesn't End with Divorce

When I was married to my ex, for my own survival, it was sometimes necessary to "bend" the truth. I'm not proud of it - I don't condone lying in my home and I try to promote honesty in my children. However - sometimes - to avoid an inevitable reaction from my ex and protect myself, I would lie or conceal the truth.

If he was working I a weekend, I either wouldn't make plans until after he left, or I wouldn't tell him about them. Not that I was doing anything that merited any interest. Usually it was just shopping or heading up to my mom's.

He'd ask about ingredients in our son's food.  Not from an educated - this is bad for my son standpoint, but from an OCD, panic, I read this in an online magazine standpoint.  I would lie about the ingredients to placate him.  Or I'd feed our son the stuff he was worried about when he wasn't home.

All coping behaviors.  Designed to protect myself (and our son) from increasing amounts of bullying.  If I didn't - I would face an onslaught of yelling and demeaning remarks.