Time is Precious

It's funny how time seems to pass so quickly that you don't notice.  Sometimes things that you wanted to do pass you by and you can't do them any more.

When I was in my twenties, I worked with a rather remarkable little woman.  She was about my mother's age and life had not treated her kindly. Angela had emigrated from Germany when she was not much younger than I was, following the death of her parents. She had a light but noticable German accent and similar to me, she had a difficult marriage to a very difficult man. They had two children together, a son and a daughter, who were both around my age.  When her youngest was still in a stroller, she was struck in the street by a car while crossing the street with him.  Thankfully the stroller was thrown clear, but she suffered (like me) through multiple surgeries and ended up with a quite noticable limp as one of her legs ended up being over an inch shorter than the other. And while she was going through this, her husband disappeared to whereabouts unknown, leaving her with two children to support, and very little income to do it on.

Unpacking Emotional Baggage - A Love Story

I have a girlfriend that I've known for over ten years.  We worked together in the same office for a time. It was a difficult office - our boss was a bit of a tyrant, and as a result, a number of us grew quite close and have had friendships that survived a reorg which saw most of us in different offices.  

Should Your Sister be Your Best Friend? Is She?

There are all these quotes about sisters – and how they’re your first and only true friend.  Don’t get me wrong – if anyone hurt my sister, I’d be in their face like the overattentive perfume lady at the department store – but we’re not friends.  We never have been.  And it’s likely we never will be.

My younger sister and I are only two years apart in age.  We had an average childhood – and being so close in age, often fought like cats and dogs.  Physically, my sister favors my father – with dark hair, olive skin and green eyes, whereas I favored my mother – although she wasn’t tall like I was (her brothers are), I have mom’s red hair, pale skin and blue eyes.  Our personalities were opposite as well - where I favored my father’s dark sense of humor, my sister was more straight laced.  I’ve never been a morning person, I’m more bookish, introverted and reflective.  In school, I was focused more on grades than my social life.  My sister was always the sunshine in the morning – waking up happy and determined to see everyone else happy too.  She had tons of friends through school and after.  Being an introvert has made it difficult for me to find and keep friends – I think I’m often misunderstood, and can be a bit awkward with people at times.

I Wouldn't Change a Thing

Whenever somebody new comes into my life and becomes aware of my continual issues with my ex husband, I always, always, always get asked the same question.  Especially if they've had some opportunity to meet him.  

Why did you marry him?

They're truly perplexed that the woman before them - who seems so put together, intelligent, capable - could have married a man who is such a...mess.  Implied questions are hidden underneath.  How did this travesty happen?  How did you marry a man 13 whole years older than you with such blatantly obvious issues?  The judgement in their tone is palpable.  The implication is clear:  they think it was a mistake and I'm supposed to confirm their judgement.

And truthfully, there have been days when I've asked myself the same question.  Not just how did it happen in the first, place, but also how did I let it go on for so long?  Why didn't I have the insight to realize that the reason I was miserable was that we were not compatible?  

And I guess, seen in that light, I do understand the fixation.  It's kind of like a train wreck.  You want to go over the details to prevent it from happening again.

Truth be told though, I don't view it as a train wreck.  It was (is) a mess, that's for sure.  And I was miserable for a long, long time.  I don't think he'd admit it, but he was too.  But I think he was miserable long before he met me.  And I know he's miserable now.  He's just that kind of person.  He's not able to examine his life, put a line under things and move on.  

But that's a big difference between the Goblin King and myself.  I have moved on.  I have used all of the things that I learned about myself - some of them, that he taught me - and I have moved on.

Usually, when I'm asked the question I smile.  I tell them - it's something I did.  It brought me two wonderful children.  It set me on the path to meet my future husband.  It made me the woman before you today.  It happened because it was meant to happen.  And if I had the chance to go back and change it - I wouldn't change a thing.

Image Credit:  (Edited) "Young Girl in Black and White" by Stuart Miles / freedigitalphotos.net

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Twitter has a new fan

I had a completely different blog prepared for today.  But I was inspired to write something different.

I'm so very new to the Twitter community.  I've been on Facebook for about five years, but my real exposure to Twitter started only a few weeks ago.  My Facebook years have allowed me to stay in touch with people I would not normally have had the opportunity to.  It's also given me entertainment and media bites about my favourite celebrities and TV shows, general news about my local community, funny and viral videos and more cat and baby pictures then I expect people should reasonably be exposed to.