I struggle the most with the dreams.
Nightmares.
It's always the same.
I'm still married to him.
We're in the house.
I can't leave.
I can't get out.
I'm suffocating, struggling for breath, clawing to get out, break the chains, see the sun, escape the darkness.
But I can't. I'm stuck. In the house. In the marriage. In that life.
I keep hoping that they'll end. That my nightmare will end.
I wake up to a new life. With a new husband and a new child.
But the nightmares remain. I am stuck. He won't be out of my life. The contact is minimized in every way I can make it so - but I'm still stuck. Often still suffocating. Struggling for breath. The waking nightmare persists.
But my children give me breath. New life. I can breathe for them. I will breathe for them. Break the chains.
Image Credit: "Woman Hands Tied With Chains" by adamr / freedigitalphotos.net
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