I'm just over three months into my blogging journey, and I was struck this morning by the sense of camaraderie that I already feel with my cohorts. So for the next few blogs, I thought I'd write about my new favourite bloggers (and my new favourite women).
Today, I'm featuring three of my favourite divorce bloggers. If you haven't read their blogs, I encourage you to link up with them (I've provided links to their blogs as well as their Twitter and Facebook Fan pages). They are all very intelligent, wise, and funny women who have taken a bad situation and tried very hard to make the best of it. I've chosen three women who are all in their post-divorce period, but each experienced the divorce and recovery in a very different way.
Several (but not all) of these women have taken their blogs to the DivorcedMoms.com website - and it's a wonderful resource for women contemplating, in the midst of, or even post-divorce. I wish that I'd taken the time to look for these resources several years back - their words may have helped me to salve my wounds and ready myself for battle. I'm still happy that I have them now - in the midst of my post-divorce, co-parenting issues. The ability these women have to overcome their own post-divorce issues continues to serve as my daily inspiration.
1) Divorced Pauline (UPDATE: Divorced Pauline is no longer blogging about her divorce. She's happily moved on!)
Facebook: http://on.fb.me/1j6x282
Of all the divorce bloggers, I feel most in tune with Pauline. Like me, she has two children, a boy and a girl, and suffers with a narcissistic ex, Prince Machiavelli. Her profile on HuffPost suggests that she blogs using a pseudonym, as I do. The profile is correct in it's assessment that "Pauline...is....a world-class gnarly divorce survivor. Her ex-husband got pretty much everything except for her sense of humour and her marbles."
Pauline's day job is a therapist to special needs children, and I suspect that some of her training has come into play in dealing with the mental health issues experienced by her ex.
I am in awe of Pauline's ability to look at almost every situation with a keen eye to figuring out what's right for her kids (sometimes even in spite of her own feelings). She seems to adapt to each new plot twist not by getting desperate (although I'm sure she feels that way sometimes), but by digging down and finding new strength. Her blog, The Perils of Divorced Pauline, details her struggles to maintain her own sanity. Despite all she's been through, she has an incredible sense of humour, and I often find myself both laughing and crying after reading her posts, and at the end, I'm hungry for the next one.
Pauline also blogs about women's issues, adoption (Pauline was adopted), parental alienation, and mental health. Her writing has been featured recently on The Good Men Project as well as the Huffington Post.
2) Lisa Arends
Facebook: http://on.fb.me/1gLkS7x
Lisa is one of the few divorced women bloggers that I've come across who isn't using a pseudonym. I suspect it's in part because she doesn't have any children with her ex and doesn't have to worry about that becoming messy.
I'm not absolutely positive, but I suspect that Lisa is the youngest of the women on my list today. Despite this, I find that her posts reflect a wisdom that is far beyond her years - possibly because she was forced to learn lessons that no one should ever have to learn - particularly at such a young age.
I'm not absolutely positive, but I suspect that Lisa is the youngest of the women on my list today. Despite this, I find that her posts reflect a wisdom that is far beyond her years - possibly because she was forced to learn lessons that no one should ever have to learn - particularly at such a young age.
Lisa's husband left her after a 16 year relationship in 2009. The only clue to his departure was a cowardly text, while she was on vacation with her parents. She returned home to find her bank accounts emptied, credit maxed out, and found out later that her ex had re-married six days after the infamous text - without having even initialized a divorce proceeding. He was arrested for bigamy, and has since disappeared off the face of the earth - choosing not participating in the divorce proceedings.
I admire Lisa's strength - even when she didn't think she had any. She refused to dwell on the past and focussed on thriving! Her writing is very raw and emotional and always has a lesson. Reading her blogs from the beginning, you can witness her journey to wellness, and watch as before your very eyes, she heals herself. Lisa's experience is proof that it's possible not only to survive divorce, but to thrive after it.
Lisa has been featured on the Huffington Post and has also recently released her first book Lessons From the End of a Marriage: How I Found Happiness While Surviving Bigamy, Abandonment, and Deceit
, available on Amazon Kindle.
, available on Amazon Kindle. 3) Cuckoo Mama
Facebook: http://on.fb.me/1kDAaMO
The Cuckoo Mama and her ex, Stanley, have taken a very unique and admirable journey into co-parenting after divorce. They are "nesting" their children, rotating in and out of the home that the children grew up in - to avoid displacing the children and give them a sense of stability in the unstable world of post-divorce. This Mama tells tales of her nesting experiences, what it was like as a single gal, and now she also writes about incorporating time with her "Lovah", Al, into the mix.
What I like most about This Cuckoo Mama's blog is her keen sense of humour, even when she seems to think she's bordering on the brink of complete insanity as she tries to juggle two homes, two men, and two kids.
What I like most about This Cuckoo Mama's blog is her keen sense of humour, even when she seems to think she's bordering on the brink of complete insanity as she tries to juggle two homes, two men, and two kids.
These are just three of the women who I admire and am trying to emulate. They have taken their painful, emotionally wrenching experiences and tried to turn them into something incredibly beautiful. Their collective wisdom continues to inspire me to work harder to let go of the small stuff, to try to co-parent as effectively as I can, and to always work on putting my children first. The successes that they've had post-divorce serves as true inspiration for my own journey.
And, to finish my blog today, some wisdom from another wise woman, Betty White:
Image Credit: [onemoregoodadventure.com]
No comments:
Post a Comment