Taking a Right at Albuquerque

My life now seems to go in a continuous cycle.  Not in a bad way, like a merry-go-round that never stops.  It's now like I'm on a road with two paths in front of me and a map of where I've been.  I keep looking at the map for clues to where I should be going.  I took a proverbial left at Albuquerque, and that's how I ended up here.  What if next time I take a right?

I'm speaking of course about the "mess" that is my co-parenting relationship.

Crying Wolf in the Age of Social Media

"There once was a shepherd boy who was bored as he sat on the hillside watching the village sheep. To amuse himself he took a great breath and sang out, 'Wolf! Wolf! The Wolf is chasing the sheep!'"

Of course, the villagers come to his aid, more than once (as he found their response more amusing than tending sheep), and the result of his false alarms is that when an actual wolf shows up, no one will listen and the little liar gets eaten.  

The tale can be traced back as far as the writings of Ancient Greece.  The negative consequence is intended to teach children that honesty is important, and that false alarms will lead to people not believing you.  

How Do You Make Report Card Day Positive for a Child with Learning Disabilities?

Living with a learning disability means that report card day has been very difficult in the past.  I think my son dreaded the report card almost as much as I did.  Because the school insists that you go over the report card with your child.  Which I totally understand.  But when most of the feedback can be seen as negative (and his teacher last year was pretty negative), it's really hard to keep positive and learn from it.

My son, despite his learning problems, is a perfectionist.  He has a lot of difficulty accepting the fact that he's not perfect.  And even more difficulty accepting that because of his learning disability, he may never be able to achieve the "perfection" he's striving for.

8 Things I Learned from My Divorce

Getting a divorce means closing a chapter of your old life and starting a new one.  It doesn't mean completely closing the door and forgetting about the past - it means learning from it and becoming a stronger person because of it.

Read the full article on DivorcedMoms.com

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Learning to Succeed - A Mother's Gift to her Children

It's so hard these days to decide which type of parent you want to be.  I want to supportive of my children.  Yet I want to give them the room they need to figure out who they are and grow.

Puck is a very cautious child.  Part and parcel of his learning disability is an irrepressible need not to fail.  Ever.  Even if it means not trying.  And it's hard to push him.  I want him to develop confidence and be comfortable.  And sometimes that might mean not trying.  But if he never tries anything, he'll never know he can do it and be confident.  So I encourage him to try.  Every time.  And be confident that he can try.  And be confident that if he falls, he can get back up and try again.

When should you teach your children to be independent?

I face a continual struggle with my children's birth father with regard to parenting techniques.  I work very hard to foster their spirit and independence and self confidence.  My ex doesn't understand because that isn't the way he was raised.  He works hard to ensure the children are dependent on him, in part, I think, because he feels needed that way.  

He's only eight.  I'm pushing for too much too soon.